But today's topic: I find the whole "fire in the belly" (about competing) thing really hard to analyze and comprehend. Not that I have to-- I'm happy to accept it and just go tear up some chicas-- but I'd like to so I can better manipulate it to my advantage next time.
Just watching the last tournament in Austin seems to have tipped the scales for me. I turned a corner and felt like hmm, I can do *that*.. maybe not better than them, maybe a little worse, but definitely not a LOT worse. And now I have a fabulous excuse not to compete (yes, this stupid effing cold... 3 weeks I was battling a lingering, rattling, low-grade occasional cough... then two nights ago I started getting stuffy. Blamed it on a cat allergy. Uh-uh. Came home to cat free zone and despite all the mucinex DM and claritin in the world, still stuffed up.) And despite the excuse, I'm loving that I am actually looking forward to competing.
It's a community thing-- the Hillary Williams seminar is the next day, and I know lots of girls who will be at NAGA too-- but it's also a little blossoming of that dark, bloody, hungry side of me that wants to rough someone up. I don't want to be mean per se, I want to be clean and elegant and efficient and unstoppable. [However-- if it comes down to it, I'm perfectly ready to be more like Jordan. I'll kneel on your arms and fist-to-throat you if you let me and I won't feel regret, either.] Grrrrr. Girls don't have many excuses or chances to let this side of us out. Yeah, if your man wanders, you can tear the floozy's hair out; if your kid's trapped under a car you can She-Ra it up with one hand. But some of us (all of us?) have a streak of narrow-eyed, curled-lip, snarling menace deep inside... and isn't it lovely to get it out on purpose? For some reason the mental image I have is showing up at a fancy cat show and between all the plush Himalayans and the posh Russian Blues comes this hungry, lean, marmalade alley cat. She wouldn't come running at the sound of a can opener but she can catch a squirrel and string it up right quick.
Last time I did NAGA (last May) I was a squirrel.
Saturday, I'm the cat.
8 comments:
Why hello!! Thank you so much Georgette for the kind words. I really enjoyed doing it.
Go get them cat....I mean tiger!
Make sure you get plenty vids :)
Interesting picture...but...I thought you had to be over 40 to be considered a cougar :P
I am ocelot, hear me rawr.
I love it! Take 'em down and choke 'em out!! Feel better and good luck!!
Grrrrrr! go wildcat.
I admire your courage. I was almost relieved when I injured my hand before my first competition. I'm not sure why I signed up. Even more mystified as to why I intend to do so again. GOOD LUCK
Hehehe. Courage is when you have the good sense to be scared and you do it anyway. That was me at the last NAGA. This time, I haven't started to feel scared yet. Prolly they call that "stupid."
Nonetheless when I was rolling earlier today I did find myself almost wistfully thinking "now, if I break that, I won't have to compete on Saturday..."
Mrrrrrrow.
Good luck Georgette! I'm still in the mouse stage, after training for 2 years :)
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