On weight...

So last night I had this 2-3 hour long massive attack of cold feet about this tournament. I mentioned already that I'd even thought whilst rolling "if I break that hand I won't have to compete.." but this time, last night I mean, my subconscious took over. How? I was SO GOOD at dinner (vegetables, no rice, and only half the blackened ahi) and then went home and got all wiggy... so...

I ate cheese. And tortilla chips. (Odd combination forced by the utter dearth of quality CRAP FOOD in my house. Who wants an apple when you're freaking out?!) Suddenly I looked up and I'd eaten a piece of stupid cheddar about 4" x 3" x 1" and probably 30 tortilla chips. And this STUPID smile started bubbling out of my subconscious as I thought "oh, no, no way will I make weight tomorrow!"

Ahem. I woke up on weight. DAMMIT! Granted naked and on a bathroom scale. So I went to the gym, weighed in the lightest yoga capris and athletic bra on the digital scale-- 2 lbs over. Hunkered down on the stationary cycle and read about half the Beneville "Passing the Guard" book I got for Christmas-- that took about an hour. Then I did crossfit for an hour (and oooh, I was occasionally faint, which I felt was a great sign.) Then afterwards I weighed again. Eight tenths of a pound over weight. Got in the sauna at 160 degrees for 25 min... cold shower... another 20 min ... cold shower. Dried my hair, put on another superlight pair of pants and athletic bra... one tenth of a pound over, but I was still sweating a bit. Whatever, as if I could have stood that stupid sauna for one more effing minute. NOT.

I avoided thirst on the drive to Ft Worth by sleeping half of the drive. Arrived at the hotel a little spacey but I was still peeing and it wasn't orange so don't lecture me. However it speaks of my spaciness to note that I got on the (DIGITAL SCALE!?!?! shit that's going to be accurate, dammit!) scale wearing sneakers and yoga pants and tshirt and the biggest heaviest sweatshirt I own, which comes all the way to my knees... and I was still underweight. At least according to the guy with the pen and that's all I cared about.

I promptly downed about a quart of zero-calorie vitamin water which made me want to puke... when I quashed that notion, I ate some quinoa salad with feta and tomatoes, and some leftover blackened tuna and leftover cornbread... mmmmmmmm nothing tastes as good as food and drink right after you make weight. Though next time, I'm walking around at 10 lbs lighter than I am right now, so pfffft on "making" weight.

I did find it helpful to keep visualizing the ways my matches would start, nogi and gi, and envisioning my responses, and mentally practicing my takedowns and my series and my finishes.

And dammit, why am I still awake!? GOOD NIGHT :)