I'm thinking about not competing at the Mundials.
There, I said it.
I'm not suffering my usual tournament scaredy-cat jitters. This is different. I'm just not motivated to compete. For one thing, I was out sick an entire week, and ate enough for an army, and gained weight, and then I came back and training isn't dropping the weight. And I'm still coughing-- I don't think it's a big deal, but I notice it when I'm on the bottom under someone with a good knee on belly. For another, I realize I'm just not at the level I need to be to have a shot at the podium at that level of competition. I don't mind competing, I just like there to be a potential upside.. a chance of winning. I wouldn't say I have NO chance, but it's not a strong chance. And why rely on chance... it should be skill.
Please don't think this is some fishing for compliments kind of post. It's not that at all.
I also like training more when I am in the "shoot for the moon, have nothing to lose" phase, like I am now. When I was getting ready for the Pan, I was physically training hard, but mentally I was not trying to learn new things and absorb stuff. I was just polishing and trying to perfect what was already in my toolbox. I felt somewhat stuck or frozen, to be honest, but it was acceptable because I wanted to have a pure focus on the game I would play at the Pan.
Right now, I feel like I'm just a sponge, soaking up everything around me, and it's rather pleasant. I also can train as hard as I want, start every match from the feet, do takedowns, whatever, and I'm not constantly thinking "but what if I get hurt?" It's funny, because Mundials is only 2 1/2 weeks away, but I just don't feel any urgency. This plus not liking to stress over weight is why I'm pretty lackadaisical about competing this time.
6 comments:
Cool, but I reckon you'll go anyway!
I'm not going to beat this one to death, because god knows I have felt the same way.
All I'm going to say is this: don't let it have anything to do with not doing as well as you wanted at Pans. There. I said it. :)
I get it, don't misunderstand me. You're sick, you haven't trained the way you want, losing weight sucks ass.
But you also know you DO have the skill to hang with the top dogs (so to speak). You did in Houston. So Pans didn't work out. Your skill is there. If your heart isn't, though, then you know what? Don't do Worlds. Take as much time as you need. This is not a race to get as many competitions under your belt as possible. It's about the whole experience, and if you're not feeling it, then you're not going to enjoy it.
And goddamn it, if you're not enjoying it, then you shouldn't be doing it. :)
Get better, don't let anyone try to convince you to do anything you don't want to, and keep up the kickass work.
There. I said it. :)
"and the Oscar goes to...Georgette Oden for using lackadaisical in a sentence!" lol
You know my opinion. Don't go. Not because you wouldn't rip-up some chicas, coz I know you would and you ARE that good (hey that rhymes!), but for the very reason you mentioned: You are really enjoying the current phase of opening up your game and playing the full spectrum. I honestly believe pre-comp training should be tailored to a specific game plan and that (slightly) kills the fun.
It's not like you've been otherwise lazy when it comes to comps :)
Are you still going to watch?
Oh hell yes I'm still going. I'm working all four days as scorer (and let me tell you, working on the blackbelt day was not a given. I'm lucky, and excited, and eager on that account alone.) Mitch and I have our plane tickets so there's no question about me going.
I will say this-- I lost 6.5 lbs yesterday (proving that yet again my body is the QUEEN of retaining water for no apparent reason whatsoever.) And oddly that has improved my attitude about competing. Like, hey, if I look like I'll make weight, fuck it, I might as well compete. After all, Mitch is working as a ring coordinator specifically so that my entry fee is refunded to us, so there's no penalty for registering at the last possible minute. Which, now that I'm not SO far off weight, is a bigger temptation :)
And I'm just going to keep on training like I am, as if there were no such thing as the Mundials right around the corner.
Good for you! I have GOT to get in on that deal sometime. Definitely let us know!
Excellent attitude! Enjoy it either way :)
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