Monday, October 25, 2010

GIRLS DON'T FART!

I'm trying to decide if I want to train tonight or not. Had a very hard workout at lunch open mat and frankly I'm kind of pouting right now.

So here's my deal: I am friends with most if not all of my training partners. They're like siblings to me, except I'm an only child (shocker!) Only, sometimes they'll say stuff that is obviously intended as a joke (where joke is defined as "something spoken that causes speaker to laugh"; note definition does not require hearer to find it funny as well...) And I get my ego bruised a little. Which is good, it's obviously in need of a trim. I'm trying to combat the ego issue by sharing my stupidity this afternoon with you.

Today while rolling (can't believe I'm telling you this) I actually made a tiny though audible fart.

You have to understand that I grew up an only child with a single mom and I NEVER heard her do that. No brothers. Therefore, grew up blissfully free of fart jokes. I am more embarrassed by "tooting" in public than I would be, say, by a major wardrobe malfunction like my skirt flipping up in the wind or whatever.

I WAS MORTIFIED.

I laughed because he laughed (I'm a contagious laugher) but inside I was appalled. It was one of those moments you want to fall through the floor and disappear and have it be forgotten forever. But no... twice more he'd look at me sideways and make the same noise with his mouth and crack up and I was SO MAD I could hardly stand it. And later, he said he pictured me in this fancy office surrounded by important cases, and then made the noise again. GAHHHH!

OK. Never mind. When I read it all written out like that I see that I am just ridiculously blowing this out of proportion. I just need to relax and let things go more. But I'm still pouting.

GIRLS DON'T FART!
I AM PERFECT!
I AM COOLER THAN THAT!

*sigh* *laughs at self*

p.s. Don't hate on me. I know I'm not perfect. I am OBVIOUSLY not cooler than that either.

p.p.s. I did sweep him once though.

14 comments:

AKA Mollie said...

Your post immediately reminds me of this video... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeOziyR-2UQ

Even Ballerinas fart.

combatsportsreviewblog said...

@ Georgette - It's finally official - You are now just one of the guys! (JK) Bless your heart. That happened to me once. I was also mortified and I grew up with a whole bunch of farting guys! They would have gas wars. For some strange reason, they don't initiate gas wars with me anymore... ;) I honestly don't know why...

@ AKA Mollie - Farting Ballerina!! That's just too precious!! Thank you for that. :)

Stephanie said...

I grew up with 4 brothers, and my sister, may as well be considered a boy as well. I love her to death, but she is as unfeminine as they come.

And still totally feel your pain. I. thankfully, have yet to fart mid grapple, but that doesn't mean I haven't been part of a grapple where farts happened. It is generally the men and they tend to pin me down in their 'stink cloud' and die laughing, but once, it was another girl... no not Allie. lol I pretended it didn't happen, as did she, and we have never spoken of it.

I hope if I am ever the farter, that my parter has the decency to pretend it never happened.

Sorry about your luck, G... Or should I send my condolences to your training partner? =)

Thanks for sharing though, I got a big laugh... I don't think I would have the courage to do the same.

Georgette said...

AHEM-- it made a noise. THANK GOD NO STINK!

*blush*

See, I have no shame....

A.D. McClish said...

HAHAHA The best one for me has been when my instructor was showing us a position that involved him getting in this guy's triangle and the guy farted. My instructor goes, "Ohhhhh, you are about to die." LOL!!

cy said...

Haha, funny post. I know how you feel though, despite the fact that farting was always freely practiced in my family.

I distinctly remember the day I felt a bit gassy in class. T'was the day I was chosen as the demo dummy by a big purple belt. Topic: knee ride. OOOH. I reckon I nearly strained myself from holding back so hard. I just could not have coped with farting there and then. Right in front of the whole class :-0 !!

I'm a bit less worried now. If it happened I'd probably still be embarrassed, but I could laugh. Someone farted on me recently, and he was mortified :-) Especially when I started laughing!

In general though, the guys have no shame :-) They let one rip and everyone laughs. And there is an evil stinker among them. Mostly silent, but totally deadly. I pray he never farts on me.... I sure would be too busy gagging to be able to laugh!

I vote for equal farting rights for all.

leslie said...

Lulz! My college roommate and I used to have farting and burping contests. Oh, my...

I hadn't even thought about it, but it hasn't happened to me on the mat yet. Even the guys usually manage not to draw that sort of attention to themselves.

Oh, great, now I'm going to giggle the rest of the night :P

Stephanie said...

Of course! Girls don't stink in any way shape or form! =)

Frank said...

Ha! There's one chick I train with that has the smelliest farts. They're always silent, but man they reek.

SkinnyD said...

This is just too funny.

Jmozaic said...

This made me die laughing Georgette...thank you for brightening up my day!

Family Mat-ters said...

Sooo funny!

Anonymous said...

This is the funniest thing I've read in a while. What do you mean "thank god, no stink!"? The more weapons in your bjj arsenal the better, no?

Still lovin' the blog...pls keep it up.

Tinlandofrisingsun

Ashley said...

hahah, oh man. This post is *amazing*.

I have to say...if other people fart, it doesn't bother me at all, but I would definitely be embarrassed if it was me!

I agree with Stephanie - (verbal) silence is golden.