I've ruffled some feathers and the chickens want to scare me into shutting up.
Previously, I allowed anonymous comments on my blog (no longer!) but I have always had to approve or disapprove comments before they became public. I'll get an email notifying me of a comment and I can publish, delete, mark as spam, etc.
Over the weekend, an anonymous person commented on my previous blog post (about the local instructor who is a registered sex offender) something to the effect that I cheated on my husband. I posted the comment because it was stupid, and then commented after it along the lines of "what a chickenshit to post anonymously."
But I reconsidered, and removed both comments as irrelevant to the issue.
Then I received this comment via email on Sunday 6/30, which I did not publish:
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "When an instructor in your own backyard is a crimi..."
Seems somebody struck a nerve with this jiujitsu blogger. Why would she now call this person who is commenting a "chickenshit" and "douche"?? I know why...
Somebody has some "issues" to deal with. I guess we all can't be perfect.
-Judge Barney
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Posted by Anonymous to Georgette's Jiu Jitsu World at 3:03 AM
Later that day I got this one, also not published: [edited to add-- I've since become more educated about spambots and I realize the next comment was likely spam but I had no idea.]
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "When an instructor in your own backyard is a crimi...":
If you're a CHEATING WOMAN and you need to know what to wear this summer to fit in with your floozy peers, you're in luck....
Ashley Madison, the extramarital dating site, recently conducted a study exploring the relationship between fashion and female philanderers. 52,390 cheating women (presumably Ashley Madison members) responded to the survey, and the results are pretty fascinating–and also somewhat unexpected.
While female cheaters are often portrayed as promiscuous and racy, it turns out that, when it comes to fashion, their tastes are actually quite wholesome. Ashley Madison asked respondents to name their favorite stores to shop in, and, let's just say that they're probably not ones you'd expect. Coming in at number one? Banana Republic, followed by Fashionista fave J.Crew. (Cheaters: They're Just Like Us.) Even more surprisingly, Chico's–yes Chico's–made the list.
The rest of the results:
1) Banana Republic
2) J.Crew
3) Macy's
4) Ann Taylor
5) H&M
6) Bebe
7) Lane Bryant
8) Chico's
9) Lululemon
10) JC Penney
The results actually make a lot of sense when you consider that, according to Ashley Madison CEO Noel Biderman, the dating site's "typical female user is a professional woman in her early 30′s." More than one-third of the women polled also said that they spend more than two times as much money on their style since before they started cheating. Sad–but good for the economy.
Other interesting factoids to be gleaned from the study:
* 17% of philandering females rock pumps from Aldo while stepping out on their significant other
* Mark Jacobs [sic] makes the most popular handbag for hanky panky
* The majority of AshleyMadison.com's shady members prefer aviator shades from RayBan
* Top three summer trends for two-timers: Pencil skirt with slit, maxi dresses, and brightly colored skinny jeans
* Banana is the #1 stop for clothes but Victoria's Secret is the go-to store for undergarments
* 12.4% of cheaters admit to returning items after wearing them to a rendezvous! In summation: Cheating women like the same kind of stuff as regular women, and there's a small chance that someone had sex in that dress you just bought.
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Posted by Anonymous to Georgette's Jiu Jitsu World at 4:37 PM
Then on Monday 7/1, I received a new one (also, of course, unpublished.) I just wish "Mike J" could spell!
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "When an instructor in your own backyard is a crimi...":
You know what's pretty funny is that she deleted some other post someone wrote apparently directed at her misadventures.
But one day you will be exposed for your indescretions via local media, tv, paper, local attorneys, etc and people will be whispering about you in the community as you pass by with your husband. It's really sad how you can take a position but not let people know about your indescretions....they will come out. -Mike J
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Posted by Anonymous to Georgette's Jiu Jitsu World at 4:55 PM
All this just kind of made me laugh. I mean, seriously-- what kind of "indescretion" [sic] would "local media, tv, paper[s]" be interested in? When I am not at my office, I'm training or I'm at home. When I'm home, I'm cooking or in the garden or plopped on the couch with my kindle. And even if I was cheating on my husband, which I am NOT, it wouldn't be particularly newsworthy. I'm a nobody!
It's not sad AT ALL that I can "take a position" even though I'm not perfect. Ha, there are no PERFECT people. If we waited for the perfect people to speak up about wrongdoing and injustice, those sexual predators would waltz freely.
As for indiscretions, I do let fly with some four-letter words when I burn myself or dinner or discover earwigs munching on my roses. Just this last week, I spilled root beer on the bed and stained the sheets, and hid them under the bed so my husband wouldn't yell at me before I could oxiclean them. I can't forget the time I shoplifted (as a child!) though I doubt "Mike J" or "Judge Barney" knew about that.
Like many people in a long-term intimate relationship, I have gone through rough times with my mate. I've lost loved ones over the years. My husband was laid off. Anyone who has experienced infertility can tell you, it is VERY STRESSFUL. My husband has always been supremely supportive and wonderful, but it has not been easy for him either. We've been to marriage counseling and for a while we put "for better or for worse" to the test. But we made it through our rough times and we're standing together. There's nothing "out there" about me or us, so you don't scare me. Nothing you can say will frighten me into hushing up, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Then less than an hour later, I got this one making clear his/her intent to blackmail me (albeit no better spelled):
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "When an instructor in your own backyard is a crimi...":
Hi Gerogette,
Heads up, since you're are being selective on what comments to post, and as a matter of fact deleting some, if you do not post every comment to have a fair and balanced discussion about your mission to dictate what this guy can and can't do in the world of jiujitsu, or for his livelyhood, 'Anonymous' will create a blog to air your dirty laundry and disseminate it. Particularly amongst your beloved bjj cronies. Lets call this responsible tit for tat. Start with the one you just deleted. As they previously stated; we'll just be "putting facts out there".
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Posted by Anonymous to Georgette's Jiu Jitsu World at 5:47 PM
You know you've arrived when someone threatens to get Anonymous on your case! Woo! This reminds me of the pathetic blackmail attempt on Tom Callos.
I can't recreate the post I published and then deleted, so sorry. It's apparent you feel my motives are questionable. So let's have this "fair and balanced discussion"-- since you think blackmailing me is fair. (ha!)
My "mission" is not to dictate what this guy "can and can't do in the world of jiujitsu" or "for his livelyhood [sic]" -- my mission is to protect the community. If his students are safe and feel comfortable, I don't CARE what he does in jiu jitsu and I don't care what he does for a living. I want people to have relevant information so that they can make better choices about where to train. If a person is a sexual assault survivor, they should know whether their instructor is a sexual offender. DUH. His students (and their parents, in the case of the underage students) should know about his criminal history so they can make their own, informed decision. That's all.
If you know how, you are welcome to run my criminal history. Unlike some, I am not a sexual predator. (I am also not teaching jiu jitsu, so my background is irrelevant to this discussion.) Unlike others, I have never even been accused of, much less tried for, sexual assault. My rap sheet consists of a few driving infractions, most if not all of which were dismissed after defensive driving classes.
So here's the Fair and Balanced Discussion: I'm a member of this community and a sexual assault survivor. I have volunteered as a sexual assault crisis counselor, and I'm a prosecutor. I am not throwing stones from a glass house. Whatever my imperfections and failures as a person, a woman, a wanna-be-but-not-yet mother, they're not leverage to make me shut up about these sexual predators in our midst. They're IRRELEVANT to the discussion because none of them make me unsuitable or unsafe to deal with women and children seeking to protect themselves from abuse or sexual assault. You have no right to attack me and my husband, and nothing you say or post from behind your "anonymous" identity will dissuade me from doing what I can to protect my community.
12 comments:
Georgette
Thanks for your persistence in keeping these deviants current.
Derek
Thanks for your persistence in keeping these event current.
All these comments are coming from someone who has doubled down so hard on what they believe that you are now an "appropriate target" for harassment. Perhaps their beliefs relate to LI or the other people who do not belong in the sport. Perhaps not.
The details of their beliefs don't matter much. What does is that they should know that this is not acceptable behavior or even productive behavior.
I'm angry and sad that you're receiving this treatment and really, really wish that it doesn't continue or get worse.
You have my support and several friends at Bloody Elbow, where I write. You have the support of your friends and your family. You have the support of your husband.
Kick butt with that knowledge, G. Kick it good.
Don't let this nonsense get to you
Don;t let them get to you
I, Lindsay Machado, would like to say that I do not condone the hate nor the threatening that is going on towards Georgette! Her intentions were good despite how things were handled and we have to look at the bright side..a stance has been taken in regards to sex offenders by the Machados! Please do not attack Georgette for wanting safer mat places for people to train. If the Machado's can move on than we ask that our supporters move on as well! It's the Machado Way!
I, Lindsay Machado, would like to ask that all the threatening and attacking stop towards Georgette. It is not how the Machados would handle this and we expect our supporters to follow our lead. Despite how things were handled we have chosen to see the bright side which is Georgette is actively trying to make sure we all have safe academies to train in. Her way of getting people to take a stance, and I think most will agree, isn't the best route to take but at least she is trying to be proactive. So if the Machados can bury this and move on than we ask that you all do the same! Respectfully- LM
It disturbs me that these people seem to be equating your alleged infidelity with the commission of a rape. "You can't say anything about this guy's rape because you cheated on your husband!"
Thats a load of crap, obviously.
I'm glad you and your husband have a good relationship. I hope something some jackass says on the internet doesn't hurt it. Good luck, G.
Looks like somebody's feathers got ruffled and they are trying to upset you with childish threats. Keep up the great work.
Huge props to you for not backing down from the truth because some people can't handle it. It's also sick to conflate infidelity to rape... They're not even in the same ballpark of behavior...
It makes me happy that you have the energy to stand up the the bullies. Thanks for that. I appreciate the consideration you put into your choice to put out information about this guy. He may well be working to be a trustworthy leader, but its reasonable that people learning under him be able to make an informed assessment of who they're learning under.
I'm also thankful that the Machado family seems to be establishing expectations for decent behavior from the community. BJJ does a lot to help people control themselves and their own circumstances; we shouldn't accept that we have to also allow people into the community who want to control and exploit others. That personality trait should be opposed.
To the bullies: I know you are better people than you appear now.
No one's comments "deserve" to be published. Not all comments need to be published to create a "fair and balanced discussion." Period.
This is Georgette's space. She SHOULD dictate what does or does not get published. The kinds of comments she permits goes toward the overall feel of her blog, and if it's overrun by a$$holes, it's her fault:
http://dashes.com/anil/2011/07/if-your-websites-full-of-assholes-its-your-fault.html
Quoting from the site:
You should have community policies about what is and isn't acceptable behavior. Your community policy should be short, written in plain language, easily accessible, and phrased in flexible terms so people aren't trying to nitpick the details of the rules when they break them. And then back them up with significant consequences when people break them: Either temporary or permanent bans on participation.
I encourage you to create a very clear and public policy on comments. Good for you, Georgette.
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