I haven't been writing much about my training specifics, or about how I feel about anything, lately. And I'm sorry. It's a combination of being busy and the holidays and whatever, just everything and life in general intruding. My priorities usually have a jumble of things at the top, at any given moment-- family, food, sleep, work, and of course jiu jitsu- and then a bunch of other stuff scrambling for whatever time is left, things like errands, car maintenance, writing letters, home tasks, friends. Once those things all happen it just seems like there's rarely time for things like writing, thinking, watching DVDs etc. So I'm sorry.
(Normally, when work is a little slower, I can spend a lunch hour blogging away-- but lately I'm either working through lunch or training through lunch.)
This week's been a little stressful for me. [major understatement] Work is nutty. My husband and I have had some conflict over my addiction to jiu jitsu. [ha ha ha- understatement of the century, we have been quarreling over jits for just about the duration of our marriage. sigh.] I'm about to vastly vastly oversimplify things (and I'm not even going into how long I'm trying this or into all the other factors we're dealing with, so please, skip the advice for now) by saying I'm trying his latest request which is to not train jiu jitsu at all in the evenings so that I can be home when he comes home from work. As a result, I am attending all the early morning classes I can, and all the lunch classes I can. Which means I'm working later in the evening. And I'm definitely grumbly, because IMHO our night classes are ... different. Different instructors, 3 hours instead of 2, different people taking the classes, more smaller people at the night classes, Donald's competition team class is only at night, and having gained weight over the holidays I'm chomping at the bit to burn as many calories per day as I can. So, yeah, grumbly. But this week, I only trained (at night) on Wednesday, while he was doing his night of volunteer work at the hospital. We stayed home and watched movies and ate dinner the other nights and it was pleasant. But honestly, really truly, I wish I could have done jits first and then come home and had dinner and a movie. But anyway.
Today his parents and his aunt flew in for the long weekend. We go to Dallas tomorrow to visit the preemie twins again, yay. They're both over two pounds now so I'll be sure to take more pictures and share the good news with you.
The bummer is, I only train once tomorrow and none at all Saturday or Sunday, unless I can sneak out and get on the mats with Steve Hall (Pesadelo BJJ) for a little while one day.
Enough bitching. I trained twice Monday, twice Tuesday, had a 3-fer yesterday, and got two in today as well, so that's all good. We have had THREE new brownbelts show up lately- one just visiting from Alaska, but the other two are newly moved to Austin, so I'm very excited to feel them out and start learning from new perspectives. Only rolled with the Alaska guy the one time on Monday, so far.
Today after lunch class one of the people I rolled with was a new-to-us blue belt. He's on the smaller side, maybe 160ish? Felt very strong and definitely more explosive than me. Have I mentioned how much I hate playing guard? My guard is epic failblog. I think my passing game is getting garbled too-- like 80 different fragments of 40 different pass strategies rattling around in my head at once, so I shake a few bits out and see if I can make a puzzle picture out of them. Usually, ahem... NO. Well, I did pass his guard once or twice though he passed mine more. He tapped me once, can't remember the exact position, but he was grabbing for my hand and twisted my fingers (all 4 at once and totally by accident I am sure, so I mean nothing derogatory about him in mentioning it). He once also sucked me in to a triangle, but I had one arm and the other hand in and his angle wasn't quite right, so I was happy I could eat it till he transitioned to something else. I got his back off an armdrag twice, I think, but I was too high and he was able to just pull me off his back by tugging my arm down in front of him. (grumble, grumble) Most of the roll I felt like he was being a bit rough, but I rationalized I'd rather him feel he had to pull out all the stops to manage me than for him to pussyfoot around me to be nicey-nice. At one point I had a solid armbar on him, just needed to separate his hands... at the end, I had his back, but we'd rolled about 25-30 min straight and I had to leave for the airport, so I just quit and gave up. :)
There's a whole SLEW of tournaments around the corner. Tyler TX this Saturday; a round robin in San Antonio (only $15 for women!!!!!!!! CRAP!) next Sat the 15th; something else the 22nd... Feb 12-13 is the Houston Open IBJJF. I will admit, I have NO DESIRE to compete. I like to win. My last tournament I crappled and I have no reason to think I'll do any better now. I freaking POINT-TIED A WHITEBELT (though Tara is rock solid and super strong, and is finally a well-deserved blue belt now) and got tapped by a TEENAGER, and I'm not eager to risk a repeat or worse. Call me a giant pussy chicken, I don't care. I'm just happy to roll and play and train for now. And DON'T ask about Pans and Mundials. I'll definitely be there and work both of them. Just not sure about competing.
I just want to feel like I'm a rock for others to dash themselves on, an unstoppable force, a terror on the mats. Instead I'm happy when I train, I'm learning, I'm making progress, but I still feel too timid for competing. When will my badassery come back?
Oh well. Bringing some DVDs this weekend and hope to watch a LOT, learn a lot, bring some new tricksies with me. And hope to get some training in.
Thanks for listening. Woooo 104 peeps following! You're all crazy by the way ;)