Kind of ridiculous to be so damn happy over something essentially worthless, or worth-less-than-my-reaction.... but here goes.
I feel like I'm back in the jits-saddle again.
Couple reasons: one, I decided I won't be ashamed to ask someone to go lighter on me or to ask them earlier to show me how to do something. There's no point in insisting on doing things the hard way if there's a better way, just because it's the "hard" way. And I apparently don't learn things very well just by beating my head against the wall.
Two, I had some very positive experiences on the mat yesterday. I got frustrated again with my blue belt friend, though he was supportive and encouraging. Then I watched another blue belt roll with him, and they had problems too! And they're bigger and stronger than me! So it felt good to see that.
Three, then I rolled with them. I had a plan in mind, I worked my plan, I worked for and got (most of) the positions I wanted and kept calm and steady. I felt much better afterward, like I could see that I was at least somewhat capable of working some escapes, some reversals/sweeps, etc.
Yay :) Thanks all for your encouraging words, too.