OK-- transcript of what I thought was a truly funny exchange between my friend and some girl. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
So my paper is going nowhere.
you know. the one due this friday.
oh i havent even finished my interviews
heather. you're making me feel like a nerd.
No. don't be sorry. I'll just feel like I'm smarter.
I like that much better.
always an asshole huh??
I'm not being an asshole.
I've just been trying to figure out for the last week or so whether you had a sense of humor
I mean, look
You passed the first test. You're very pretty.
so then I started talking to you to see whether you had a good personality
you were smart talented etc
now I'm testing to see whether you have a sense of humor
you're kinda failing me on that one!
It's all perfectly fine though. It's really not awkward at all. We're still cool.
hahahahhahahahahahahahhaaha sorry i was getting my dinner
omg well first
thank you about the pretty thing and the good personality
and i do have a sense of humor
esp in person
hard to read sense of humor
over facebook chat
esp when that humor is you saying youre inherently better than me
you don't even talk to me during class
do you realize what you just asid
how am I going to get to hear this sense of humor!
talk to you DURING class
if you dont make the effort to talk to me
oh my god heather smith.
you are the weirdest girl I've met
it's not akward at all
it's so not true
like on tuesday
but oh well
I'm going to talk to you like I always to you
so you dont have to feel weird about this conversation.
I'm not offended. i swear.
oh goodness im not asking whethert youre offended or not
(it's all a joke, by the way)
i got that
I'm really laughing very hard at this and showing all my friends this fb chat
We're having a great time!
I promise I won't give you the silent treatment anymore.
I'm going to find out about this secret "sense of humor" i haven't seen before.
or actually, heard.
Don't run out on me after class and dont even THINK about saying you have something to do after class because I know you don't.
hahahhaaha actually i do, im becoming increasingly busy since it's the end of the semester
and i do have friends thank you
well I'm not going follow you or anything to other places, because I have things to do at 5pm
I can only see you from 3:30 pm to 5:00 pm
so if that doesn't work, then I guess we can't see each other.
and we'll always be facebook friends and not, you know, real friends.
that's the way it is, heather.
I'm not compromising
alright then haha
alright then what?
nothing much more to the alright then besides alright then
alright then yes or alright then no?
makkke up your mind. Women. I swear.
make up my mind about what?
about walking with me after class duh
well that's not it but I'm telling you that to give you some answer that isn't my real answer
ok you're confusing me--if we happen to be walking in the same direction
what is the big deal
the big deal is that you've taken this class like twice and you're my best resource to ace this classsss
there. you wanted to know the extent that my evil goes?
you found it.
im sure that's the underlying motive
that's exactly it.
so yes can I study with you or no?
you should be happy I'm asking you instead of making you.
most guys wouldn't.
i don't believe you for one instance
most guys would have been your lappuppy and tricked you into studying with them
most guys wouldn't even dare ask you
I'm telling you straight up what my intention is
I wanna study with you
and that's it.
not true, i dont have lappuppies and two, if you just want to study with me
how do my looks come into it?
what about you looks?
yeah whyd you say im very pretty
because you are.
I'm not going to say what isn't true.
I'm a man.
I dont lie
if you just want to study with me that wouldnt have come up! hahaha oh god
you're very pretty
but what about that?
for me to be interested like THAT in a girl
they have to have more than that
looks are great
but what's in your head?
what's in your heart?
what's in your personality?
are you smart? are you independent, etc etc.
that's more important.
so no. I'm not interested you in that way yet.
if you turn out to be what I'm looking for, great. I'll ask you out on a date
hahahhaha well im not looking to be courted
I'm not courting you
but thank you anyway
im just saying
dont get too attached
cause im very likeable
oh my god
YOU ARE SO FULL OF YORUSELF
rather than having a bad ego
you were saying that I was full of myself
and now you think I am going to fall head over heels over you.
no it just happens a lot
how the tables have turned.
so im warning you
I've been telling you over and over that I'm not going to marry you
did you not pay attention?
yes yes every girl remembers that a boy says they arent going to marry you
this isn't like that
what is this a game or some sort?
you said you were going to be a wedding planner
so I said I wasn't going to marry you
it's just a joke
HAHAHA you my friend need to lighten up
yes i know
there's nothing to it
and im joking too
no you're not.
I know women
I know dating
and I know you put importance to everything I say
and testing me each step
I know your tricks
there's nothing you can do that will surprise me. believe me.
hahhahahahahhaa you're flattering me to think that im putting that much thought into something between us
cause im not
im kinda seeing this guy so im actually
anything into what youre saying
look. I dont know what you're thinking
but I'm not looking to date you.
As I said
I KNOW THAT
you're not what I'm looking for.
i dont know why you keep saying that
because you keep bringing it up
no im not
I can go back and like cite everything
im telling you whether you decide tehres more to me or whatever
im not looking for that
well obviously there isn't.
I'm obviously not looking for a girl that won't like me back
if you are seeing some dude
that means you won't like me
so why would I like you?
that's it and that's all.
so let's just forget all that bullshit
and tell me what the next essay is about
i dunno havent looked at it!
you're no good to me then
alright then, well im gonna get to my dinner then!
you should have said "no" on studying instead of wasting a lot of time just chatting about love and stuff like that and me I dont know what
what the hell is your deal
I don't have a deal.
I don't know why you're so angry
wow youre really funny
cause im perfectly fine
yet you just called me annoying
because you are
but that doesn't mean I'm angry
it just means you're annoying
so let me cut it short for you, ive got to go
go and do your thing
It's so hard to ask girls to study nowadays.
stupid 21st century