Work. Jits. Home. The triad.
Work's going pretty well, actually... busy, but happily so, with interesting cases and issues. I always get along well with my coworkers, but I am especially appreciating friendships with a few particular people who always seem to have a smile, a hug, or a wry comment for me.
Jits-- half and half. The good half is the happy, fun, creative, flowy rolls I have with friends, even the fierce fights for what feel like hours, ending up in weird-a$$ positions I couldn't recreate if I tried. I'm grasping things better, even if just intellectually seeing more connections and principles. And collaborations and friendships with other peeps on the 'net-- Elyse (check out her new website here, focused on womens' gi reviews); Leslie, Triin, Mike, Seymour, Allie, Can, Robert, Liam, Neil, Dev, Conan, Steve, Peter, and all the rest of you.
The not-so-good half is my contentment with "recreational jits" and my lack of enthusiasm for competition, and my feelings of inferiority and fear. I positively hide from the competition team class now especially since they're 2 weeks out from the next tournament and every week they go harder and harder. I wouldn't mind if I felt like I had any skills, but the longer I stay out the more disparate our skill sets become and it's a bad cycle to be in. Sometimes I think jits is like a horse-- it can smell fear, it can smell a lack of confidence, and if you approach it tentatively, like as not it will throw you.